There are many things that only a mother would know. There are the obvious ones, like how much your babies weighed at birth, (even devoted daddies rarely commit that to memory...it might have been our justification for the fuss over the pain. "That was an 8lb thing I just pushed out!!") but there are plenty of other things that no one else in the household seems to know...or even bother to care about. A few examples:- The perfect ratio of milk to chocolate syrup
- The incredibly complex procedures involving toilet paper roll replacement
- When the garbage is full, continuing to stack things precariously on top is not a solution
- Where the batteries are stored
- Ditto the Scotch tape, scissors, glue, thread, etc.
- That there is a full, unopened jar of peanut butter RIGHT BEHIND the almost empty one
- That being forced to eat bell peppers can make a 9th grade boy act like a 3 year old girl
- What that weird, long stick with the bristles on one end is for
- The day and time of every soccer game, ballet lesson and band rehearsal
- Whether the baby is sick or just "teething"
- Exactly how much Santa spent on each of her children
- The price of a gallon of milk
- That a glass of Merlot can dampen homicidal inclinations
- What actually is for dinner
- That there are very few people she would sacrifice her time, sleep and dreams for, (not to mention tummy, ass and thighs) and they all live right here in her home...eating up all the peanut butter
