End of Summer

Alas, summer is drawing to a close. So far we've had a pretty good one. I for one have learned a lot, though my kids seemed to have learned very little. Here is a list of things I should have discussed with them at the beginning of the summer:

1. Towels are not disposable. If you bring a towel to the pool, make sure you bring one home with you. (If it happens to be the same towel you brought, so much the better.)

2. I am not your cruise director. It is not my job to entertain you, arrange for your entertainment, pay for said entertainment, nor transport you to and from your many entertainments! If occasionally I do decide to do these things, a "thank you" is in order.

3. The phrase "I hate _______" will not be well received. ("Hate" language never is in my house.) If you tell me you're "bored", I will provide you with a list of chores you may do to kill the time. Do not say, "I have to do everything around here!" unless you are willing to back it up.

4. When you are away from my sight, you should still behave as if I where standing right behind you. It's a very small town, and I get reports from people you didn't even know I knew.

5. When you sneak candy from my (apparently) not-so-hidden stash, do not tuck the wrappers behind the couch or under the DVD player. Eventually they will be found, and you will have only put off my retribution. On the other hand, the chances of me sifting through the garbage are pretty slim. I still have the feeling you don't know where I'm going with this...

6. If you are thirsty, get a drink. If you are hungry, grab a snack. Any waitressing I do must be rewarded with a tip.

7. I don't care if his feet stink. I don't care if she snores. I have to sleep with your father, and believe me, any smelly feet/snoring issues you have pale in comparison to what I have to deal with.

8. Moms need to know where their kids are at all times. If you go over to Cassidy's house, but end up at Maddie's, that's a memo I need to get. Never forget that the length of your leash is purely at my discretion.

9. Occasionally I have plans, and my plans supersede any plans you may have. Why? Because I said so.

10. When I say to watch out for cars, I mean parked cars as well as moving ones. When I say to put on sunscreen, I mean actually apply it, not just take the bottle with you. When you come home with a skinned knee or a second degree sunburn on your shoulders, don't look at me like I did this to you. A lot of pain in your life could be avoided if you would just listen to Mama!

Okay, I know this sounds a little deja'vous. (Almost like I heard it all when I was a kid.) Apparently, kids are all the same. Or the "mother" curse is working. It's hard to tell...

Everyone enjoy these last few weeks of summer!