These are a few of my least favorite things...

Disclaimer: I love being a mommy. I love my angel with the intensity of a nova. (So it's probably a good thing the peanut is coming along, to diffuse some of that white-hot spotlight.) That being said, there are a few things about motherhood that I could really do without. Below is a short list, though certainly not comprehensive, of things us mommies tend to dislike:

1.) Vomit. Somewhere between "Mommy I don't feel so good" and changing sheets at three in the morning I have wandered out of my comfort zone.

2.) Poop. Normal, contained diapers are bad enough, but we really hate the explosive poop that shoots up the back, over the top and starts back down the other side. I've been tempted to call in a HazMat team.

3.) Shots. They tell us they are necessary. It's for the baby's own good. (Although the jury is still out on that one, but that's a blog for another time.) But the look of betrayal in a 6 month old's eyes is more than sleep deprived mommies can take! (To add insult to injury, we have to pay for this privilege!)

4.) False advertising. Okay, just advertising. Last Christmas, all my angel wanted was a Disney Princess Fantasy DVD Game. In the commercial, the game turned all the girls into princesses! Who wouldn't want that? Explaining to my angel that the game wouldn't actually turn her into a princess was an exercise in futility. It reminded me of an old adage: Never argue with a drunk or a fool. (or a five-year-old)

5.) Other people's kids. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you have to like all kids across the board. My angel has a few friends that are just joys to have over for play dates. She also has a few friends that I no longer permit in my house. The drama of cliques and alpha girls begins in first grade, and the whole thing makes me want to home school her. Sure, some people say that doing so could stunt her social skills, but let me tell you something, some of the "social" skills she's learning in school could use a little stunting. I don't believe that sassy-ness is an inherent trait in six-year-olds. I think it's pack behavior.

Don't get me wrong, there are some really great things about being a mommy. There is absolutely nothing like soft baby skin. (And don't even get me started on the "baby" smell) The magic power of a kiss and a Barbie band-aid to heal boo-boos. A snuggly toddler in feety pajamas, or a snuggly first-grader who isn't feeling well. All this stuff makes up for the rest, I suppose. Except maybe the vomit.