Baby Fat

Everyone knows that women gain weight when they have a baby. Children have a drastic effect on mother's physique, and in so many ways! In a perfect world, nursing a baby would cost enough calories for mommy to lose that extra "baby weight". But there are many other variables to consider.

First, if mommy lived near a taco stand or if there was a Dairy Queen near her doctor's office, there might be more weight to lose. Also, screaming babies have a way of convincing you that you deserve a glass (or two) of wine in the evening. And if you have older children and a baby, your commitment to "healthy" family dinners is relaxed. Even if you were previously serving your darlings grilled chicken on a bed of fresh spinach, these days you're slicing hotdogs into a can of Spagettios on the days you don't order pizza. And if they don't finish all of their EasyMac or chicken nuggets, mommy will often step up to ensure that it doesn't go to waste! Don't forget the vegetable stand-off. Of course they like corn...it's not really a vegetable. (Look it up, it's actually a grain.) But if you offer them broccoli they will accuse you of trying to poison them. And the more kids you have, the more expensive it is to feed them. Every child I've ever met can hoover prime rib or crab legs, but wouldn't touch a meatloaf with a ten foot pole. And so, the "mommy weight" is inevitable.

In the plus side, chasing toddlers can be rather exhausting! And I don't know of many mothers with children under 10 who are able to actually finish a meal without needing to tend to someone else's needs. They also find themselves "sharing" their soda or ice cream cone. But who has time to workout when you are just trying to make it through the day without tearing your hair out? The experts say, if you want to lose weight you need at least 8 hours of sleep a night. And you can get it...after your kids are in college!

The consolation here is that all mommies are in the same boat as I am. (Except those few, you know who they are, that are back to running marathons a few days after giving birth. We must expose these women for what they are...freaks of nature.) One author wrote that pregnancy is actually 18 months...nine months on the inside and nine on the outside! SO technically, I'm still "pregnant" and my little parasite is the reason for the increase in the number on the tag of my jeans. Well...that and the taco stand.