Golf

It's a sport, kind of. It's a social event, in a way. It's a drinking game, for some of us. Yes, it's golf.

I started playing golf in 2005, I think. I signed up to take a couple lessons with a few of my friends, mostly for a fun thing to do together. I borrowed some clubs from my husband's brother's wife's sister's ex-husband. (I love small towns!) I should premise by saying that I was a girl jock, and I tend to have what is know as "beginner's luck" with sports. I do really great my first time out and then...I never get any better than that. So my golf game is probably about the same as it was at my first lesson. First of all, I played a lot of softball, and a golf swing is totally different, yet similar enough to confuse the old muscle memory. And second, I don't want to get better. I'm not going to work on my short game or practice my swing, so why get worked up over my lack of skill?

I golf once a week, on Wednesday nights, in a ladies league. This is perfect for me, for several reasons. It's evening, so my mom can watch the kids for me. Some of the ladies that golf are really good, and I think that I've actually improved just by watching them and listening to the pointers they offer. And most of the ladies are there to have a good time first and if some golfing gets done, well, that's a bonus! It gives me a chance to hang out with "the girls" and we only have to talk about kids if we want to. (Bragging or bitching...both tend to come up!)

It's also a great networking opportunity, and not just ladies league. If my future boss asks me if I'd like to join them for a round of golf, not only do I have my own clubs (what's-his-name needed his back) but I have enough skill to not embarrass myself completely.

Plus, it's pretty. Cute little pink balls, kacky capris and polos, and the famous sun visor. It's classy. And while I usually avoid nature if I can help it, I love the groomed grass of a golf course, dotted with sparkling ponds and streams and scattered with patches of white sand, perfectly smooth all the time. (It's the rules) I also love the courtesy of it all. You are more skilled than I? Of course you may play through so that I am not causing you to wait unduly. I will stand quietly whilst you focus on your swing, and don't worry about where your ball landed...I'll watch it for you. You are a less skilled player? Allow me to offer you a handicap, altering my score so that we may play on equal footing. And never shall I cast a shadow on the line of your putt. Pip, pip, cherrio!

So if you are not already partaking of summer's best sport, I encourage you to try it. But remember folks...it's just a game!

**There is an urban legend that claims the origin of the word "golf" is actually an acronym for Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden. This is untrue, and I have taken it upon myself to dispel this terrible stereotype. The word actually comes from the Scottish word "golv" which is a mispronunciation of the Danish word "kolv" meaning "club". So don't let your husband have all the fun!